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Mustard O' Mine (transcript)
Cast * Stephen Turner as SpongeBob SquarePants * Jacob Eggering as Patrick Star * Bella McRoy as Jennifer Millie * Drew McRoy as Squidward Tentacles * Eric McRoy as Eugine Krab,Walter Haddock and Mummy * episode begins at the Krusty Krab. A mother and a baby passes by and is greeted by a polite gentleman. A raspberry noise is heard. The mother turns and gives the gentleman an angry look, thinking it was him who made the noise. The noise is heard again. They turn and see a long line standing in the Krusty Krab. It turns out to be Mustard Day and SpongeBob is giving away mustard to the customers. * SpongeBob: Mustard, mustard, step right up for your mustard! the mustard container Some mustard for you. Eh, eh, eh. mustard on a little boy's Krabby Patty * mustard forms into a t-rex and it roars mustard in the boy's face. * Boy: face is covered in mustard Cool! * SpongeBob: the mustard container A bit of the yellow for you. Doy. mustard on Frankie Billy's Krabby Patty * mustard forms into a sailboat. It whistles and rings its foghorn before it melts onto the patty. Frankie Billy laughs and skips away. Nancy Suzy Fish comes up and whispers something in SpongeBob's ear. * SpongeBob: Oh, okay. at Nancy Suzy Fish Eh. and spins the mustard container before spraying the mustard into a handsome man And a Mr. Mustard for you. * Nancy Suzy Fish: as walks with her Mr. Mustard while licking him Mmm, yummy. * SpongeBob: Hyah! to give mustard to Frank, but the mustard container is all out and it cough out a small drop of mustard * Customers: Aw. * SpongeBob: Hang on, folks, I'll be right back with more mustard. on the mustard container and drives on it like a car Whoo! to the kitchen and goes to the condiment cabinet Let's see. Ketchup. ketchup door to mayonnaise door Mayonnaise. up mayonnaise door to mustard door Oh, mustard. doors mustard door to find Mr. Krabs in it * Mr. Krabs: Did you use up all me mustard? * SpongeBob: nervously What? * Squidward: his tentacle Oh, who gives a flying fish about mustard? * SpongeBob: gasps But Squidward, without mustard I wouldn't be able to make a— * Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty! That's right, you're both hereby ordered to go down into the mustard mines! And bring me back more mustard! * Squidward: Mustard mines? * Patrick: out of the condiment cabinet and is covered with mustard Mmm, mustard. a container off his head and grabs a packet of mustard Uh... Ah. mustard in his mouth, eats it and burps * Mr. Krabs: mustard off his face And you are going down to the mustard mines too. * Walter Haddock: offscreen I wouldn't do that if I was you. comes in and spits on the grill * wipes the grill clean. * Walter Haddock: That old mustard mine is cursed. * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs in fear Cursed? * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob away What kind of curse? * Walter Haddock: It's, uh, er, one of those—The Mummy's Curse. * Mr. Krabs: snickers There's no such thing as mummies. * Walter Haddock: up a creepy picture of his mother We've all got mummies. Eh? giggles Mm-hmm. I've been in that mine. No one that enters gets out alive. a creepy smile as a shrieking noise is heard; a spider crawls into his mouth and thunder claps * SpongeBob: You got out and you're alive. * Walter Haddock: Ah, but am I? * Patrick: Yeah, you're standing right there. * Walter Haddock: But am I? away in a creepy fashion * Mr. Krabs: Yeah, you're right—''that he's gone, but he sees his foot'' Hmm. * Squidward: I see your foot. * Walter Haddock: his foot back No, you don't. * SpongeBob: Ah, his foot's gone! * scene changes to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward at the entrance to the mustard mines. * Squidward: at the map This map doesn't show us where the mustard vein is located. Well, let's just start picking. * Patrick: his nose Way ahead of you, pal. * Squidward: Ugh. and looks at the map again * reaches into his nostril and picks out his brain. * Patrick: Ooh. his brain on Squidward's shirt * turns and grunts in disgust. Patrick gets scared and runs over to SpongeBob. Squidward picks up his pickaxe and heads into the mustard mines. * SpongeBob and Patrick: and skips into the mines ♪Oh, a-mining we will go! The mustard, it will flow! up and down really hard With pick and axe without the facts! There's nothing that we know! Ta-da!♪ * and Patrick's violent bouncing causes a landslide and falling rocks seals off the entrance, much to their horror. * Squidward: Huh? You nitwits! How will we get out now? * Patrick: Ah, we're trapped in a mine! We'll never get out! * goes into frantic panic and runs up and down the mine walls. He curls in a fetal position and acts crazy. He punches his chest and passes out. * Squidward: and goes to check on Patrick Krabby Patty, stat. * takes out the ingredients and makes a perfect Krabby Patty. He gives it to Squidward and he feeds Patrick the patty. Patrick swallows the patty and slowly wakes up. * Squidward: He's coming 'round. * Patrick: weakly Squidward. I—I need— * Squidward: What can I get for you? * Patrick: out the Krabby Patty from his mouth I need a little mustard for the Krabby Patty. * Squidward: Patrick down in disgust Why do I even bother? Maybe there's a back door. * SpongeBob and Patrick: Hey, wait for us! * and Patrick run over to Squidward. * SpongeBob: Whoa. * stop at a long, deep shaft. * Squidward: I wonder how deep it is. * SpongeBob: I'll check. up a pebble, goes over the edge and falls into the shaft Wahhh! next to Squidward and Patrick Don't bother jumping. That shaft has no bottom. Let's take the escalator. * Squidward: SpongeBob and Patrick aside All right, spread out! on the escalator * and Patrick follow and go on the escalator with Squidward. They see coal miners go up the escalator. * SpongeBob: Coal miners. * see sulfur miners go up the escalator. The awful smell from the sulfur makes SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward cover their noses. * SpongeBob: Ew. * Patrick: Sulfur miners. * SpongeBob: Phew. * see a group of kids go up the escalator. * SpongeBob: Unaccompanied minors. sting * Patrick, and Squidward walk off the escalator. * Squidward: All right, let's get to work, chowderheads. * go in separate directions while bumping into each other for a little bit. SpongeBob digs up a yellow rock with his pickaxe. * SpongeBob: Hey, I found something yellow. the yellow rock out of the wall; he was happy at first, but turned sad Never mind, it's just gold. it away * Patrick: All I'm getting is dumb old diamonds. and kicks several diamonds * SpongeBob: a handful of gold nuggets This must be the Mummy's Curse that old guy was talking about. the gold nuggets in the stalagmite * Squidward: Gold and diamonds? up sand from the wall Gold dust! No, no, it's just sand. * above the surface, Ryan is minding his own business playing in the sandbox. Suddenly, the sand begins to form a whirlpool and sucks Ryan down underneath. * Ryan: Whoa! screaming * comes out from the hole Squidward dug up and he runs around in panic. * Squidward: seeing Ryan Ah. * continues to run and scream in panic until he calms down when he goes up the escalator. * Squidward: Uh, what was that? * SpongeBob: sighs The greatest treasure of all, a child. * Patrick, and Squidward resume their task. All of a sudden, SpongeBob begins to sniff out something. He sniffs the wall and punctures a hole on it with the pickaxe. It turns out that he dug up a payphone underneath the wall. The phone rings and SpongeBob answers it. * SpongeBob: Hello? * Mr. Krabs: angry customers yelling in the background SpongeBob, where's me mustard? * Jennifer Millie: I want some mus—''Krabs pushes her away with his hand'' * SpongeBob: On the way, sir, as soon was we find it. up but answers again Love you. up again * Squidward: Oh, we'll never find that mustard vein. the wall with the pickaxe and the wall crumbles into a hole, leading him to the subway Oh, what is this? around the subway * Subway PA: Local train approaching station. * in the tunnel, a train emerges and stops in front of Squidward. The train opens its doors, revealing SpongeBob and Patrick already on board. Squidward stares at them in shock, wondering how they managed to afford a train ride. * SpongeBob: Hurry up, Squidward, before the doors close! * Patrick: It's the last train of the night! * SpongeBob: Do you have a metro card? * frantically searches for a metro card until he finds one under his shirt. * Squidward: Ah! I got it! to scan his card, but the tumblers keep beeping red * SpongeBob: Come on, Squidward! * tries all his might to scan his card as he watches the train doors close in horror. * Subway PA: Watch the closing doors. * buffs up his arm and the tumbler finally turns green, approving access to it. Squidward runs through the tumblers and frantically heads to the train. * SpongeBob: Faster, Squidward, faster! * makes it, but the doors close on his neck, leaving his body being dragged outside of the moving train. * Patrick: Hey, Squidward, you really should watch the closing doors. * growls at Patrick in complete frustration. * Subway PA: This is a local mining train making all stops between Coal and Limestone. Next stop, Condiments. * SpongeBob: Oh, that's our stop. * train stops at the condiments vein. The doors open. SpongeBob steps over a battened Squidward and heads to the condiments vein. Patrick runs out and steps on Squidward, but grabs him by the feet. * Patrick: Come on, Squidward! * and Patrick scurry into the condiments vein while Squidward, being carried by Patrick, hits his head on the sign. Patrick sets Squidward down. Squidward walks around in a dizzy fashion, but pulls himself together. Squidward knocks on the wall and punctures a hole with his pickaxe. Mayonnaise comes out of the wall and sprays into Squidward's face. * Squidward: Hmm. out his finger and puts it on his tongue Ah, la, hmm. the mayo Ah! I've struck mayo! * punctures a hole on a different wall and a drop of hot sauce flies onto his tongue. He tastes the dropping and his body flares up, burning himself to a crisp. * SpongeBob: Hot sauce. body crumbles into ashes * goes to puncture a wall with his pickaxe, but flips over and falls to the ground; his pickaxe punctures a hole on the wall and ketchup spews out. * Patrick: I struck blood! some of the ketchup and tastes it Oh, no, it's ketchup! some more * SpongeBob: We're getting close. a hole on the ground and mustard comes out; he takes a sample of mustard Oh. the mustard Mustard. Ahhh! I struck mustard! * Squidward: Mustard? * Patrick: Mustard? * SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward: around in circles while twisting SpongeBob's body ♪Look at all the mustard flow! Look at all the mustard flow! That golden yellow fatty acid treat!♪ * unravels himself, sending Squidward and Patrick flying to another wall. SpongeBob warms himself up and goes to crack open the ground again. But the ground was so thick that is disintegrates his pickaxe. * SpongeBob: Oh, no, what are we gonna do now? * Squidward: I think we better use our heads. * Patrick: Let's use my head. his tongue and his pointy head revs up like a power drill * and Squidward go to use Patrick's drilling head to drill a hole in the ground. When all of a sudden, they hear a moaning sound. Smoke fumes around the tunnels and a shadowy creature appears. * SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward: The mummy! * smoke clears and the shadowy figure reveals himself to be none other than the crazy old prospector, Walter Haddock. * Walter Haddock: Stop! * Haddock leaps in front of SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward, pulls a cork out from his pocket and plugs up the hole in the ground. * SpongeBob: gasps It's the Mummy's Curse guy! * Walter Haddock: There ain't no curse! I just tried to discourage you chuckleheads from mining this mustard! * SpongeBob: Oh, I get it, 'cause the mummy wants the mustard. Mystery solved. * SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward: Hurrah! * Walter Haddock: his eye 'Tain't no mummy! This mustard is sitting on top of 20 million pounds of pressure! If you open her up, she's gonna blow sky high! * SpongeBob: Oh, no curse. No mummy. And no mustard. sniffs And I'll have to find another job! and blows his nose on a tissue * Squidward: Don't you see? This old coot wants all the mustard for himself! Now uncork that mustard! * Walter Haddock: Hmm? No! * Squidward: Oh, put your fists down, old man. I'm not gonna hurt you. * Walter Haddock: Hyah! Squidward in the face * falls over. * SpongeBob: You were right, Squidward, you're not gonna hurt him. * Squidward: up and is really angry Why you— punched in the face again Ow! punched again I'm gonna— punched and his head spins; then he gets punched again * SpongeBob: Go, Squidward, you're winning! You're not hurting him at all! * Patrick: up Let me try not hurting him. Squidward and throws him aside Come on, old-timer! You know you want a piece of me! Haddock punches Patrick on the head and sends him flying and crashing onto the hole in the ground Oh. * Walter Haddock: Ow, that hurt! * Patrick: I hurt him! That means I lose. * the ground underneath begins the shake due to the force of Patrick's fall. Cracks begins to form and Walter Haddock dodges the incoming stalagmites from the ground. The mustard from underground begins to build up pressure and is about to erupt. * SpongeBob: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! to hold down the pressure, but the mustard begins to fill up inside his body Whoa....! * Walter Haddock: Adiós, muchachos! * Haddock laughs manically and bounces around until he calms down when he goes up the elevator. Cracks form underneath Squidward and the crack uncovers a payphone next to him. * Squidward: Hmm. rings and he answers it I'll get it. Hello. * Mr. Krabs: a mast above the angry customers Where's me mustard?! * Squidward: Um... * builds up as it grows bigger and bigger from the upcoming mustard. Patrick tries his best by corking up the holes. At the Krusty Krab, the customers continue to riot against Mr. Krabs. One customer is chopping the mast down with his axe. The screen zooms out to reveal volcanic pocket of mustard underneath the Krusty Krab. * Squidward: Your mustard is coming right up. * Mr. Krabs: the mast falls When?! * Squidward: Now? * can't hold the pressure much longer as his eyes fill up with mustard. The ground under the Krusty Krab rumbles and erupts a geyser of mustard through the roof. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward bounce up and down on top of the geyser. * SpongeBob: Wow! Yee-ha! Yeah! * mustard fills up the Krusty Krab inside. The customers are now satisfied and go to swim around in the mustard as well as eat their patties with mustard. Among them stands a mummy, who is unimpressed. * Mummy: What, no relish? Category:Transcripts Category:SpongeBob SquarePants